Thursday, March 26, 2009

List of Reality TV Stars I Want to See in Porn

I've already written about my two successful searches for Reality Show contestants who've done porn. I got my fill and I'm glad it was over.

But spending more time at home during these hard times means watching more television. And since Rock of Love Bus, I Love Money 2, For the Love of Ray J, and Real Chance of Love is never not on VH1 I've been watching an unhealthy dose of reality show again. The result--you guessed it--is a list of girls I hope has done porn.This time, fortunately, there is nothing urgent about this list. If I were to stumble across a flick they've done I wouldn't turn it down, but I'm not spending hours of precious time actively looking for it the way I did with Frenchie and Brandi.

Just a note: Many of these women weren't the ones I found to be their show's prettiest. It's just that something about them sticks out and made me notice them. Usually, it's not being an obnoxious loud mouth or flagrantly stupid.

Corn Fed

I hate the douchebags on Real Chance of Love. Women masochistic enough to put themselves through weeks of humiliating reality TV just to date either one of those losers are naturally suspect. Personally I think there's more dignity and payoff in doing porn. There are two girls however who have warmed my heart. So, naturally I'd like to see what they're like in the sack.

The first is Corn Fed, who won and was chosen by Real (if winning means dating a Stallionaire, losing has to be worse than prison). I couldn't help watching Real Chance of Love because it had to have been on 5 times a day everyday all winter. That's how they get you. I never sat through five consecutive minutes of the show but I could tell you what happened in every episode. And I've never seen Corn Fed make an ass of herself.

Maybe it's the hair cut. Maybe it's the fact that her roots are showing (I really don't know what's up with that but I like it). Maybe because she's cute as a button, laid back and demure. But I'm into her and I'm glad (for her sake) that the relationship with "Real" only lasted a couple days. If I come across a flick with her in it I definitely wouldn't pass it up.

The second Real Chance of Love contestant is Milf. She's older, funny enough the ideal age for Milf Porn. She is actually a mother so it would be authentic if that's your thing. She's a cuter mix of Vicky Vette and Dana Hayes. It is perhaps for this reason I could totally see her doing porn. She's also on I Love Money 2, another show which is never not on VH1 so I got a second dose of her immediately after Real Chance of Love ran its course.


This one caught me by surprised and was the only reason I watched Rock Bus of Love for as long as I did. You see, I know Nikki as Lady Tribe, a DJ and (retired) graffiti artist from LA. Seeing her compete for Brett Michaels' affection was a shock, although in hindsight I suspect she might have done it for the publicity. When I first encountered her I entertained the fantasy of seeing her in porn but never thought it would happen. Now after seeing her make an exceptionally trashy ass of herself on Rock Bus of Love, porn might be a step up.


I didn't watch much Rock Bus of Love so I only came across this woman when I was looking for a decent picture of Nikki. The show's got plenty of hawt women but this one stuck out. I would totally love to see her do gangbang.


Apparently this girl was on Flavor of Love. I really can't see that, but OK. I've been watching her lately on I Love Money 2. She's laid back, in the cut, not saying to much. As cool as Ice. I would totally date her. She's like the polar opposite of Becky Buckwild (Who I NEVER want to see in porn, not even Ugly Girl Porn). Apparently she's an on-air personality in her hometown of Detroit. I'm guessing the likelihood of her doing porn is slim, but a boy can dream.


She's appeared on Rock Love, I Love Money and Charm School, but I didn't take notice till she scrapped with Sharon Osbourne on the Charm School Reunion Special. Now I have a burning desire to hate fuck her and splat on her face. Crazy huh? I mean, yes, she's a cunt but there's something to be said when she's the only woman I want to see run through by the lovely gentlemen at Meatholes.


I rarely watch For the Love of Ray J, but I'm rooting for him out of spite for Kim Kadashian's completely unwarranted fame. Whenever I do catch a few moments this girl always catches my attention. According to her bio, she's dated a pro ball player. So I'm guessing her chances of being in porn are what, 50/50?


I hate the Real World and I wouldn't trust anyone who follows that show religiously. I really go out of my way to avoid it, but I got ensnared during the 12th season by Trishelle. I think she was the first reality star I really wanted to see in porn and this list has dredged her up from the back of my mind. She was a worthless drunk, mildly retarded, vapid, materialistic, slightly racist, just the kind of girl I would have nothing to do with IRL, but man did I want to see her fuck. She did go on to pose in a heavily airbrushed Playboy spread, but that's no real consolation. Besides, this self portrait has much more character than that fakery. I think a $5,000 flick made in someone's living room would capture that same essence.

Something about this list bothers me. Does it jump out at you? Every one of these women are blondes, you say? Yeah, I don't get it. I'm a lifelong brunette man. I'm going through an intense redhead phase in porn (e.g., Leighlani Red, Shannon Kelly). How is it that every one here (even the black chick) is a blonde? I don't know, but the bigger problem is whether I can stop watching reality TV.

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