Porn Star Haiku: Alice Bell

I will never not

make passes at your thick ass

and sexy glasses.

Meaty, But Not Fat, and Still, Pretty

I like to track the search words that send visitors to this blog.

Apparently most of my readers surf in via one of the two posts I wrote last year on the unfortunate, late Julie Ellis. So unsurprisingly, the majority of search words are Julie Ellis related.

julie ellis overdose

julie ellis porn

julie ellis pornstar

julie ellis death

julie ellis died

what happened to porn actress julie ellis

etc.

But why on earth would anyone google "julie ellis johnny cash"?

Here's a list of what's turned up only in the past month. I can only guess at my typical reader's frame of mind.

"tory lane" "how many men"

ugly girl porn

"behind the green door" "cum shot"

porndar

jackie ashe dateline interview

blacks on blondes gangbang feel bad died overdose

reptile love women

she got a peach of a pussy

"meriam benezra" reptiles

make love not porn

reptile pussy porn

reptile pussy body hardcore

pamela peaks disgusting

My all time favorite will probably always be "meaty, but not fat, and still, pretty" which I only can assume was authored by someone who, like myself, has a thing for Amber Peach. What a poetic line! I doubt a more beautiful phrase has been googled.

Porn Star Haiku: Ava Devine

Do what you do.

Even with the huge boobs reduced,

Sparks, cum, spit still fly.

Make Love Not Porn

I was 25 before it was brought to my attention that some, no, most women don't like getting cummed on. It had been my thing for quite a few years to ask right, when the moment was right, where she wanted me to cum. Most wanted it on the stomach. Some wanted it on their ass. Still others, the keepers, let me jizz on their face.

One night, while wiping off her breasts, my girlfriend at the time quietly said she didn't like it. Like what, I asked. When you cum on me, she said in an even quieter voice. Why did you let me do it then? It's not like I surprised you. I did ask.

I spent that month calling exes and flings. An unscientific poll was conducted. The majority preferred I had kept my fluids to myself. When asked why they'd allowed it, they all answered the same way as sweet, quiet June: it made me happy.

And why did creaming on girls make me happy? Well, a lifetime of porn led me to believe it's what girls like. Oh, the vicious cycle!

There's a site on the internets that spells out more of these Real World/Porn World splits. It's called Make Love Not Porn. I like it. Dear Reader, you should too.