Saturday, June 30, 2012

Where Are the Onas of Yesteryear?

Where has Ona Zee gone? I miss her. Heard from a birdie, she makes art. If so, I would love to interview her. If not, I would love to interview her.

Mrs. Zee, if you're reading, come at me. We'll talk.

Friday, June 29, 2012

On Tyla Wynn (Working Title)

To do. Deconsctruct this Tyla Wynn video. Be sure to highlight
  • The ridiculous shit she says during the intro
  • The premise of the plot
    • THAT couple with THAT realtor being THAT laid back about a $20,000 a month mansion
    • Tyla Wynn’s short creepy boyfriend
      • Who looks like he should be in gay porn but when you think about it you think gay guys couldn’t be turned on by him either. He’s weird looking.
      • Like, if he was near me at a orgy, I think I would have to move somewhere else.
      • Like he looks like he smells funny
      • And if he didn’t have a big dick he’d be on some sort of watchlist.
      • I bet he is on a watchlist.
      • Footnote that he is Scott Lyon, Mr. Brandy Lyons and yes, he’s done gay porn.
    • Jesus Christ, I haven’t seen Alex Sanders in years
      • Or maybe I have and I haven’t been paying attention.
      • Talk about a throwback to the nineties.
      • Shouldn’t he be fucking Dyanna Lauren or something.
      • He couldn’t look more bored.
      • Maybe because he’s not fucking Dyanna Lauren.
      • This is where you notice that Tyla Wynn isn’t exactly a catch.
        • I’ve tried escape this classist trip but the white trash is on there heavy.
        • She looks worse for wear.
        • This movie is from like 2006. She’s still in the industry. Has anyone checked to see if she’s ok?
        • I dont think I want to fuck her anymore.
        • That said, I still finished.
        • Finding a recent video and hoping she’s looking healthier.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Porn Star Haiku: Jordan Blue

Jordan Blue
A former model
Blew the life into me thus,
Inflate my ego.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Porn Star Haiku: Kelly Leigh

Kelly Leigh
Your fierce fucking beckons!
I reply to your thighs And amazing grace.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Porn Star Haiku: Katrina Kraven

Katrina Kraven
You're gonna make it
Come out. Gotta start writing
Haiku left-handed

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Shit Kelly Wells Says

Movie: Orgy Fuck Fest (2007)

4:02: Feed my fucking face. I haven’t had a damn thing to eat all day.

8:04: Fuck me out of my fucking mind. I’m already out of my fucking mind.

9:08: I’ll put your name on my fucking cunt.

11:52: It’s not nice to slobber while you eat.

12:58: I have an available hole. Why isn't anyone going after it?

13:24: Remember to arch your back, fucking whore.

25:29: That’s a blessed asshole.