Monday, December 27, 2010

Porn Star Haiku: Brooklyn Lee

Where you at? No sleep
For me until my Big is in

This Queen's burrow.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Porn Star Haiku: Janet Mason

Don't cry over milk spilt
On this ├╝bermilf. Applaud.
That's, if you can.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Porn Star Haiku: Samantha Sin

The wages of Sin:
I'm out of breath and a little
Cramped in the hand.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Sasha Grey Update

Just so you guys know, the streak is still alive. I still haven't masturbated to Sasha Grey. I don't know what the deal is. Seems like I've rubbed out for everyone else. Like EVERYONE else.

Maybe someday soon. I'm just trying not to force it. I want our first time to happen naturally. When the time is right.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

BBW I Love Love Love #3: Jem Jewel

Some of you are no doubt asking "Who the hell is Jem Jewel?"

She is far less well-known than the other BBWs I've raved about. Her videos are exceedingly rare. All I've been able to find are two scenes with BBW Hunter and BBW Superstars.

Both vids feature the same guy, who I assume to be her boyfriend/erstwhile suitcase pimp.

An aside: This guy is perhaps the most normal looking man I've ever seen in porn. Part of my attraction to Jem is that she's someone you wouldn't imagine doing porn. How did these two end up fucking on camera for two sites then disappearing? I pray the explanation isn't a quotidian tale of two bored swingers looking to spice up their love life. I know this is a shot in the dark, but do any of you know them personally? I bet there's a story here. Please fill me in. Even if you don't know them. Make something up. I'm bored. (Be sure to let me know, though, that your version is fictional.)

OK, back to Jem: She's pretty in that unadorned way (Appropriate Cake lyrics: The ornaments look pretty but they're weighing down the branches of the tree). She's plump, but not sloppy. She has that welcoming look of softness. I feel sometimes like if I lean close enough to the computer screen I could smell her sweetness. She seems like she would be fun to lie next to in bed on a Saturday morning. I feel as though I would get carried away while fucking and shift to making love to her even though I only picked her up an hour before.

This is how I feel about Jem Jewel.

The perfect Christmas gift: at midnight on Christmas Eve I stumble across a treasure trove of Jem Jewel vids and cherish them until I start obsessing over something else.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Porn Star Haiku: Mariah Milano

It's a fantasy
Of mine to lay you down and
Show you who's the boss.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Porn Star Haiku: Katie St. Ives

If I could drink a case
Of you, darling, I'd be

In St. Ives Heaven.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Porn Star Haiku: Trinity Post

Milf, Teen, and Holy Whore
Descends upon me, curls toes
When I watch you.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Porn Star Haiku: Daphne Rosen

Oh nymph, I'd chase
Your curves (at least in vid form)
To the ends of the earth.