Since I crawled out of adolescence and matured into the man I am today, I've been remarkably ambivalent about porn. Remarkable because I can read Catherine Mackinnon and jerk off to bukkake in the same day. I'm particularly sensitive to the objectification of women. I treat my lovers and female friends as equals, as more than the objects of one's fantasies, as whole people. Yet a quick glance at my porn library will reveal hundreds of cummed on faces, gangbangs that look uncomfortably close to rape, women getting poked with an odd assortment of objects, women getting called horrific names while being spit on, women getting passed around, thrown like rag dolls, tossed aside like yesterday's trash. How am I OK with that?
Maybe I'm not. Or, maybe I am.
It's perhaps not immediately apparent, but this blog is an attempt to expose, if not work out, that ambivalence.
I like to think of myself as a person with a strong constitution and the ability to make his actions line up with his beliefs. I was the once Heavyweight champion of smoking, going at it with vigor and poise until I was convinced it would one day killed me. I've been cigarette-free for almost 5 years. I was once an inveterate, indiscriminate, and unapologetic carnivore. These days I only eat meat 6 months out of the year and locally produced at that.
2012 will soon be upon us. On the 1st of January, I will embark on a new project. I will be locking up my usual fare and doing something new. For the entire month of January I will be watching, stroking to, and critiquing my experiences with feminist porn, sex-positive porn, couples porn, artsy porn and any kind of sex flick a guy like me should be watching that doesn't conflict with my real world sensibilities.
Here's how you, dear reader, can help. If you know a site, movie, or starlet that falls into those categories, don't be afraid to suggest it.
She was just another girl with a Yahoo Group account. Like many of the other BBW models on Yahoo she posed nude but did no hardcore. As much as I wanted to see the likes of Dawn Perignon do things to a penis, I literally prayed on at least two occasions to see Maria Moore fucked on camera.
I stumbled across my wish quite quickly. She did a scene with the folks over at Bang Bros.
Aside #1: The shoot was for Mom's Anal Adventure but I'm almost positive the scene featured no anal. I could check to be sure but I want to finish writing this post. With Maria, a small diversion could be a few hours of watching porn.
Aside #2: This, I believe, was the moment it hit me that reality porn was not at all real.
At the time, it was a one time thing. She wouldn't return to sex scenes for some years. When she did, I was there waiting.
She beats even Samantha 38G as the BBWs I've loved the longest. I know in my heart, if she continues in this business for another 20 years, I will continue to watch her.
She's been through a lot recently (birth of her first child, cancer). And she's easing her way back into porn.
I'm writing because I've been thinking about our history today, and I feel the need to thank Ms. Moore for the hours of pleasure she's given me over the years. I should not and will not take that granted.
Maria Moore, I love who you are. I love what you do, and I thank you from almost literally from the bottom of my heart.
Initially intended to be published on Amazon's Customer Reviews. Balked by the "Must Make A Purchase First" Rule
1. Porn is plentiful and easy to find.
2. Sex education, an honest conversation about sexuality for that matter, is woefully lacking in our culture.
When the two scenarios co-exist as they do, we get a generation of young people whose first, and often lasting impressions of what sex is and what a sexual encounter has to be like comes from hardcore pornography. This isn’t a slippery slope argument. This isn’t a worst case scenario Dworkin nightmare world. This is what we’re living with right now.
Cindy Gallop isn’t anti-porn (in fact, in many ways, she’s pro-porn). This isn’t like other books of the type, which attempt to demonize porn. Make Love Not Porn attempts to place what we see on our computers screens in its proper context. Gallop shows that a sex life informed only by porn is limiting at best and ultimately unfulfilling.
How does she achieve this?
She places Porn Tropes, or Myths (eg. Where Men Leave Their Leavings, The Everpresence of Saliva, The Baldness Down South, Name Calling During Sex, etc) alongside their real world counterparts and expose them for what they are: myths we don’t have to live up to.
She takes the stories of those of us affected by the way things are, features them to show that we aren’t alone in our confusion when real world sex is nothing like it is in the movies.
Here’s where I fully disclose that I’m featured in this book. I wouldn’t be if I didn’t believe in its premise and mission.
Here’s where I say this book is important and you should read it.
We know how I watch porn. It's the same way most of you do. Press Play. Blowjob. Skip. Position One. Skip. Position Two. Skip. Doggie. Skip. Cumshot. Nap.
I don't know about you but it takes me five minutes to watch a thirty minute scene.
I partook in something herbal this week, as is my wont, and partook in something pornographic. It is strange. I've been doing both for over half my life. But it has only been in the past year and a half or so that I've been doing both together. Strange, indeed!
And like that, I become terribly interested in two things. 1. Extending the stroke session for the duration of the scene, and 2. The content, both narrative and subtextual, of whatever I'm watching.
The flick, which is always picked at random, always transforms into something intensely (if unintentionally) profound.
I kind of started watching without knowing it was a parody. I've really pulled back on my TV watching, and all around pop culture acculturation recently, so I had never heard of Sister Wives. The point being . . .
. . . I was exposed to the porn parody before being exposed to the original thing. Think about that.
As much as I petition for specific acts of political porn parody, I don't actually watch much of it. I don't know if Sister Wives XXX is representative of the genre, but it's actually pretty good.
In her first sex scene, Samantha 38G wore the same shoes she did in a recent scene on her site with Angelina Castro. You see more of them here, still I'm disappointed she took off before the scene was through. The fact that I feel the need to mention them reminds me that I have to write a long overdue post on my shoe fetish (more like an intense shoe like. Actual shoe fetishists are weird).
I'm surprised at the variety of women here. How often do you see a BBW like Samantha 38G and waifs like India Summer in the same movie?
I had watched the entire movie before realizing that hot brunette I'd stroked to one and a half thimes was India Summer.
Aliysa Moore's baby and India Summer's children are played by a doll and huge cardboard cutouts respectively. It makes sense that actual freaking children can't be cast in even non-sex scenes of a porn flick (Oh dear Lord, imagine the backlash!), but it's still a bizarre sight for a dude with a headful of smoke.
Either I was retarded high or Evan Stone is actually a solid comedic actor, employing subtle nuances of voice and movement as well as quick, coy glances to the fourth wall to satirize his character without actually breaking character. Yeah, must've been retarded high.
You got to hand it to someone who can make a sex movie about how ridiculous polygamy is.
Although there seemed to be a lot of understated art direction, it looks like parodying a reality show has to be the most cost effective way to go. Following around Evan Stone and a few women in Mom Jeans can't possibly be that much more expensive than your bare bones gonzo flick. It's certainly no Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge.
Yes, I watched and stroked straight through. There were smoke breaks (rest periods, initiated for obvious reasons), but overall a exhilerating 2+ hour experience.
My Significant Other of the Moment, coincidentally also named Johanna, came in after it was over and saw it on queue. Her curiosity got to her and she watched a bit herself. She was quick to label Ms. Wane as Ugly Girl Porn.
"Oruba, that can't be what you're into. She's Frankenstein's monster. Look at her. That stretched back skin. Those wretchedly deformed fake tits. OMG. And the trout lips. the worst I've ever seen. It looks like they're running away from her face. You couldn't wait 2 hours for me to get home?"
And before I could defend myself, she hit me with a whammy:
"You put that together and you got yourself a tranny. C'mon, it looks like you masturbated to Amanda Lepore."
I find Taylor Wane beautiful but deep down, I'm afraid Johanna might be a bit right on that last count.
Personally, I think Johanna is just jealous.
NOTE: I feel a more useful analysis is not to compare the two with each other but to trace the common image they both want to portray, the porn star and the transexual, to the ur-source of plastic womanhood, the Barbie. But all that is for another day.