Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
There was a review of The Voluptuous Life. "Who is this beauty on the cover?" Love at first sight. Smitten on the can. A week later, Rose was able to steal a copy from work. We watched together straight away even though we weren't intimate and we had only known each other a few weeks. Our shared love of April Flores was the first of many bonding experiences. She also shared my disappointment at not seeing Ms. Flores in hardcore action.
Monday, September 21, 2009
6) I'm so in love with Christina Nadeau, the girl who plays Chelsea's friend. I would so date her. Much more so than Sasha Grey.
7) This movie is like American Psycho Lite. A chunk of the dialogue is Chelsea mechanically listing high end consumer items. Yep, like American Psycho with none of the gore, and oddly enough, less of the sex.
8) Another girl I would date over Sasha is Meriam Benezra, who's onscreen literally for three seconds as a street musician. Three seconds is all I need to launch into fantasy. We'd spend our days busking for change on the F train platform, our evenings crashing open bars and gallery openings (free wine), our nights in each other's arms engaged in conversation much more riveting than anything you could get out of Sasha Grey.
After it was all over, after I got my first prolonged dose of Ms. Grey, I checked out Anal Acrobats 3 and watched her pop croquet balls out of her ass. She seemed so much more at ease, as if she was genuinely enjoying herself.
Ah, the strange future we've made for ourselves!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
She was billed The Most Beautiful Woman in Porn. I was 13 and in love.
Fast-forward fifteen years and the once smitten boy finds the remains of Chasey Lain at Porn Star Update. My heart is broken. Is it awful that I'd rather found she died?
The good news is that I've seen worse (admittedly no one I've lost fluid over), and rehab is always an option even for the hopelessly cracked-out. Whitney is making a come back. Maybe Chasey will in a year or two. There's a lively Milf/Cougar market waiting for her. I'm pulling for you, Chasey. You can come back from this:
Friday, September 18, 2009
I suppose I owe you all a reply.
My answer is twofold:
1) The Great Depression 2.0 has done the impossible and sent me scurrying to grad school. The program I'm in is extremely intensive. Loads of reading. Loads of writing. Very little time for anything else. I've only begun to tweet again.
2) Early into my new endeavor, I knew that I was going to need all my mental and physical fortitude. So I decided it best I do something I haven't done in ten years and give up masturbation. At least till exams are over. Surprisingly, it's not as hard as I thought it'd be, but literally overnight, critiquing porn became virtually impossible.
But I miss blogging. I can't stay away too long. And if nothing else, maintaining Neckties gives me enough pretext to leave pithy comments over at Alison Hart's delightfully insightful blog.
So here they are. Resolutions.
1) I'm getting back to updating when I can. Updates won't be as regular as before, and will be more likely to be Porn Star Haikus than long treatises on pornified culture, but I certainly will spend more of my rare free time putting something up.
2) What makes this interesting is to be doing all this while refraining from self love. This occurred to me yesterday when as luck would have it a copy of My Big Plump Wedding came into my possession. I fought the urge to review it knowing that had I not, I'd be fighting a relapse (it was a struggle just getting the link). After some thought, I figure the constant, tortured tension would give updates that edge you only see in love notes from good Catholic girls. Why not? Fuck it.
This might be an absolutely great idea or an incredibly dumb one.
It's good to be back. Thank you for your continued readership, all twenty of you,