Monday, October 31, 2011

Where Oruba Spots A Porn Starlet On Televsion

Neckties For Reptiles fan, TheTrees79 writes,

Hey Oruba,

Basic cable reality shows ain't the only place where porn stars are popping up. Check out Taylor Wane on Wipeout. I bet most everyone who saw this don't know who she is:

A quick google of the name she gave, Joanna Dutremble, will reveal an adult performer who also goes by the name, Taylor Wane.

My own personal recollection of my formative years watching porn reveals only a passing interest in the woman. She, being just another in the sea of blondes, I, already focusing my attention to brunettes like Jeanna Fine. I might have watched a movie or two of Ms. Wane. I'm not really sure.

She has returned, or maybe she never left. I dunno. I do know that I've been watching her recent scenes and have been especially drawn to her. She has aged nicely into a quality Milf. Her dick sucking technique is above par. It is a pleasure to watch her work.

I admit -- I should to be used to this by now but it's a bit surreal to see her on network TV.

And this show? I would like to believe the argument that porn is verboten because it degrades people, but then I ask what is the excuse for allowing shows like this? I tell you, if I ever saw my (hypothetical)daughter on Wipeout, I would (hypothetically)disown her.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

On Race And Identity

You, no doubt, know at least one of the pictured persons above. If you watch as much porn as I think you do, chances are you know the other fellow too.

One is the Leader of the Free World.

The other is a popular porn star.

They share more than you think.

A look at Justin Long's biography will show details that crop up in Obama's life story.

Both are interracial, with black fathers they never knew. Both were raised by their white mothers. Both were raised into backgrounds that could be described as more white than black.

But both are labeled by the rest as us as black.

Barack Obama isn't considered the first Interracial President.

Justin Long is ALWAYS the Black element in the standard Interracial Porn Formula.

Why is that?

The answer, if there is one, lies in America's complicated views on race and identity. It's an all or nothing mentality when it comes to skin color in this country.

What is the point, Oruba? The point is, this is what I think about to distract me when I watch Interracial Porn and  the white girl onscreen demands to be fucked with that "nigger cock."

Did mention that I hate IR but watch it anyway?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Porn Star Haiku: Pinky Lee

The truth is, my beauty
This, I'll always sayYour
Beauty is the Truth.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Porn Star Haiku: Adrianna Nicole

Fair maiden on my 
Screen. Always loved. Forever
Pleasured, pleasuring.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Porn Star Haiku: Ms. Cleo

It's my fortune to
Watch you do what you do. You
Knew that, didn't you?

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Another Open Letter To Hustler Video

Dear Hustler Video,

You've been watching the news. You, no doubt, know that the race for the presidency is already underway.

I don't know about you, but I look out into the current Republican field and see Porn Parody Possibility. True, Sarah Palin, your muse, has gone out of her way to not run for president. But I'm writing to tell you not to sleep on Michele Bachmann. In fact, you should bank on the number of voters who want to sleep with her.

I guarantee you, right now, someone is googling:
  • Michele Bachmann Sex
  • Michele Bachmann Naked
  • Michele Bachmann Porn
  • Michele Bachmann Porn Parody
  • Michele Bachmann Bat Shit Crazy Sex
And right now, those folks are coming up with disappointing results.

Supply that demand. Fill that void, so to speak. Because we both know that it's only a matter of time before Romney gets the nomination, the Tea Party loses the loonies, and Bachmann becomes irrelevant again. Make a buck before that happens. Fulfilled the desires of the patriotic while you're at it.

Who will play the Senator from Minnesota, you ask?

Lucky for you, I've already done the leg work.

I present you Lezley Zen. She has the right look. She's
the right age of MILF. Like Lisa Ann, she's an explosive performer who has the ability to literally bring us to our knees. And she looks more like Bachmann
than Lisa does to Palin.

Let's make this happen. There is an audience waiting to watch, ballot in an hand, pants around ankles. Like Who's Naylin Paylin, You could make history again. Let's make this happen.

Best Wishes,

Oruba Stone

Friday, October 21, 2011

Porn Star Portraits #2

Annie Sprinkle As Eastern Goddess of Late-Stage Capitalism (My Educated Guess)

Have you had the opportunity to check out Porn Saints? No? Do yourself a favor. Scroll down a bit. On the right, you'll see the link under Faves and Raves.

I see some of you need more convincing.

"What the hell is Porn Saints, Oruba? And why should I drop what I'm doing to check it out?"

Well, here's their own mission statement:
Porn Saints is the art side of porn and the porn side of art. It is an artistic approach to porn, a pornographic approach to art, a pornoartistic approach to religion. Artworks are based upon the idea that porn stars may be "sanctified" by their performances.
Still not enough?

Well here are some pictures:

Kerry Louise
Dana DeArmond

Kimberly Kane

Chenin Blanc

April Flores AKA Fatty D

A compelling case, no? I can tell you're thoroughly convinced, friends. Go forth.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Kimberly Kane Shoots Her Friends In The Face

Faith Leon, shot in 2009

Her friends happen to be porn stars.

Our favorite Porn Art Theorist has started a tumbler where her photography can be seen.

My Review: "Good Shit!"

Bobbi Starr is smoking

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Porn Star Screen Tests

When I think of porn and art these days, I find myself thinking of Billy Watson. Mostly, because the man does things like this:

You might say, "What's the point?" or "OK, so he's copying Warhol, but with porn stars. Whatever." or "Why would I spend 3 minutes not watching Ginger Lynn fuck? Why should I spend 3 minutes not watching her do anything?" or "Violet Monroe creeps me out with the staring."

I remember watching Dali's screen test years ago. Dali, more than any other artist besides well, Warhol was known as much for his persona as his art. As time ticked, you watch as he got bored, ansty, unsure. And by the time it wrapped you saw, for a flash, the mask drop. Here was an old man. Talented, eccentric, but a real person, not a persona. Not DaliTM. And it hit me. The point of it all: a moment of realness on film.

When you think about it, almost nothing we see on television is real. Certainly not Reality TV. The news, more often than not, has to fit in some pre-conceived narrative. Everyone, whether they are conscious of it, raises a mask when a camera is pointed at them.

I remember reading somewhere, probably in a David Foster Wallace essay, that porn stars should be respected more than any "legitimate" actor, because what they portray is true emotion, whether it's pleasure, pain or vulnerability. And what is more private and you than the way you look when you have an orgasm?

Now, to be sure, porn stars have personas (I'm looking at you, Sasha Grey), and not every orgasm is real (far from it), but you can concede that these women often girls in their early twenties by just being naked on camera for literally the world to see are revealing more of their real selves than most of us ever would.

Who could be a more natural subject for a screen test than a porn starlet?

And what else could it be that art does than reveal reality?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Porn Star Haiku: Carmen Jay

I have a visceral
Lust for this très belle bird.
I better watch out!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Porn Obsessiveness: Case Study #2

Who are you?

So it went like this:

I was watching a Kerry Louise scene the other day. It was a scripted Brazzers video and for some reason, maybe boredom, probably curiosity, I didn't skip through the story buildup.

The Plot: Kerry Louise is an intrepid, yet prudish office drone who criticizes her co-worker's revealing garb, albeit timidly and kind of passive-aggressively. The co-worker, whose name is Jeanine, basically tells her to fuck off.

The girls' supervisor makes an appearance where he reveals that he's looking for a volunteer to be the office party organizer.

Kerry Louise is quite excited to take on the position. Jeanine, who could care less about taking on extra office duties, only wants the gig to piss off Kerry Louise. She disappears with the supervisor to "talk" him. We can only assume what is going on behind those closed doors. We see nothing. Jeanine is just non-sex extra here.

Kerry Louise steps up to the plate. She knows what she must do to get that job. She loses her inhibitions and arranges to meet privately with the supervisor to "talk."

And this is where I pause. I have to find out who this Jeanine is.

Those who know how much I've been watching Kerry Louise lately (Hint: a fuck ton), know that this is no small statement. Anyone who can distract me from Kerry Louise, without ever taking her clothes off, is a big deal.

Jeanine: I'm that rare breed of man who prefers 40something year old Ginger Lynn to 20something year old Ginger Lynn. Imagine if you took Ginger the way she looks right now, and Age-Regressed back to what she would've looked like at 30 (as opposed to making your guess based on how she looked at 20). That's exactly what Jeanine looks like. I hope that was clear. Although this makes perfect sense in my head, I fear I come off sounding like Rick Perry.

1. I go to the Brazzers website. I search for "Jeanine." Nothing. "Janine." I get Janine Lindemulder. Clearly not her. I'm stumped.

2. I search through the Brazzers roster. Nobody stands out. Looks like it could be Kate Frost, but I have my doubts.

3. I hit the boards and ask around in the Who's That Girl? threads. I wait a few hours. Nothing.

4. I figure I can go straight to the source, but I can't find anything but the customer service email for Brazzers. I send a tweet to their tweeter page. Nothing.

5. I try to tweet the question to Kerry Louise, who I follow. In the few days since I had last checked, her page had disappeared.

6. I tweet Johnny Sins, who plays the supervisor. Nothing.

7 Finally, I google "Kerry Louise" and "Johnny Sins" and wade through page after page.

8. I find it after what seems like forever: Charity McLain.

She's new. Turns out one of her few available scenes is with Mommy Got Boobs, but she doesn't show up on the Brazzers roster. Strange.

So I got the scene, unleashed a torrent of phenethylamine and endorphins into my body, took a nap, got some work done, got drinks and face-time with a ladyfriend. And then, a day or two later, I returned to the Kerry Louise scene.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Porn Star Portraits #1

This is Carlos Atanes.

He makes wonderfully strange films.

Lately, He's been making wonderfully strange drawings of our favorite porn stars. I like them. You should too.

Do yourself a favor. Check out his take on the Kafka classic, The Metamorphosis. It features far less naked people, but it's still a treat to the eyes.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Friday, October 7, 2011

Porn Star Haiku: Misti Dawn

Rosy-haired goddess,
If you spread, I will too. Like
A knocked out patient.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Porn Obsessiveness: Case Study #1

One of the main motivations behind this blog was to track how obsessive porn makes me. I find myself wanting a girl or a video and searching far and wide for it at the expense of everything else.

It's come to my attention that I haven't been shedding much light on this behavior in the 2+ years I've been writing Neckties.

Here's a recent adventure:

1. I was looking through the new girls who have gone through the Blacks on Blondes ringer recently. I pick up on the lovely blue haired Larkin Love.

Aside #1: Ladies, if you have nothing else going for you, dye your hair an odd color (blue, green, henna red, etc), and I'm like an moth to a flame. This is the only reason I've ever found Katy Perry appealing.

Aside #2: You would think that, given the name of the site, Larkin Love wouldn't have made the cut, but I learned years ago that the Blondes part of the title is merely a suggestion.

2. So I'm into Larkin and I want to know more about her. I find her personal site and I'm going through it. I come across red carpet pictures of her at a Vivid party. In one, I'm seized by a redhead who playfully paws at Larkin. Her face is only shown in profile, and yet I am captivated. And like the fickle man I am, I shift from blue to red. I have to know who this is. I must see her in porn. Surely she's a starlet. I post a comment asking who she is. That was in July.

3. Today, after watching a Larkin scene, I remember the mystery redhead. I find my query unanswered. I lose the bit of patience I had. I take matters into my own hands. Or rather, into one of my hands.

4. After a few dead ends, I decide to ask the event photographer,

whose site is at the bottom of the pic. I find his twitter page. Unfortunately, I notice that his most recent tweet is about the death of his dog. Even if I had no class and asked anyway, I know I'm not getting a response any time soon.
5. I realize that the other pics are from other different photographers. What Larkin had done was gather up all the shots she was in and throw them up on her site. It's a big LA party featuring porn stars. Of course there are gonna be more than one event photographer there. I go to the Groove Entertainment's site, look up the date of the party and sure as shit, I find a clear front shot of the mystery redhead.

6. I see the chest piece and sleeve and have a revelation.

7. I google.

8. Misti Dawn.

9. And before the hour was out, I had two videos.

Aside #1: While finding more info on her, I came across a number of message boards posts of dudes calling her ugly. Really, guys? Talk about unrealistic expectations.

Aside #2: The second video is from Blacks on Blondes. We're full circle.

Now I can go back to doing something constructive with my life. Well, after watching some porn.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Porn Star Haiku: Belladonna

Lady grinning beautifully,
My body, mind, and soul
Adores thee.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Porn Star Haiku: Brandy Talore

You, I'll take straight up
And neat, though doggy and sloppy
Works just as well.