First Facial: One Small Load For Woman

A ponderous question that weighed upon my mind as I woke up this morning: who was the woman who received the first facial?

In a manner of speaking she could be long dead. She could've been a some rough Cro-Magnon's cave bitch, whose dude didn't care where his juices pew.

Perhaps she was a guest at an especially messy Roman orgy. Maybe it was Messalina herself.

And though Dick-to-Vag sex has reigned supreme until recently, there must have been enough blowjobs, and enough lying/miscalculating men to to make this question moot since time immemorial.

No, what I want to know is who was on the business end of the first porn facial. You gotta suppose, unless we have other evidence, that any facial prior to modern era porn was unintentional. With pictorial, and later, video porn there was a need to show that the sex was real. A cum shot was the sure-fire way, so to speak, to show it.

Some time between the Daguerreotype and the peepshow, the cum shot migrated to the face.

The point I'm coming to is that someone had to be the first. Some farm girl new to Chicago/New York/LA, perhaps at the turn of the 19th Century. Factory life is oppressive. she can't make rent. She has no family to support her. She turns to prostitution. One of her johns is a photographer who pays for her to have sex with another man while he films. Toward the end, the photographer asks the man to do the most peculiar thing . . .

"You want him to do what?"

"Onto her face, sir?"

And like that, unknown to the participants, history is made. The possibility exists then that this photo still exists, sitting in someone's attic.

If it could be verified that yes this is the first facial captured on film, how much would it be worth?

Also, if the first facial landed later in the 20th century, there is the possibility that the woman who got hit with it is still alive, whiling the time away in some nursing home, unaware of her notoriety.

Also also, what in the world could I have possibly been dreaming about where this is what I'm thinking about when I wake up?

Next Week I Get To Pick What We Do - Porn!

One of my favorite blog-related activities is looking up the keywords that lead people to me. There's always a few that make me smile, wince, or just scratch my head.

There's the reader who surfed in looking for " a dick less than 6 inches."

Or those curious about Morgan Layne's IQ.

There's the one guy who typed "google" into Google and somehow found Neckties For Reptiles. Head scratcher for sure.

There's even a guy who googled "cum shot haiku." I was extremely curious about this one. Is there someone out there in the blogonet writing cum shot themed haiku? I checked. No, there isn't. I felt as let down as our prospective surfer. I felt I should fill the void, if only briefly.

My favorite this time around and winner of The Most Puzzling Query Award goes to the gentleman who typed "Next Week I Get To Pick What We Do - Porn!" and found me. I can only guess what was going on in your head, but I won't because I'm sure it'll blow my mind

On the Pertinent Question of Facials

When you get to the grand finale of a sex scene, right after the guy has done his thing on the girl, be it on her face, tits, or ass, do you ever stop to wonder why? I do. I do often. I mean, the whole notion of cumming on a girl is really silly when you think about it.

From what I've been told the act of cumming on the girl goes back to peepshow days. It served as proof that the sex wasn't simulated. Somewhere between then and now the act went from serving a utilitarian purpose to becoming fetishized and being a sexual act in itself.

Feminists who have written about pornography claim that it is just another way to degrade and humiliate women. Puts them in their place by soiling them.

Like many other guys, I love seeing girls get creamed. This is something I feel incredibly guilty about. Truthfully, deriving pleasure from seeing cumshots is a relatively new one for me. You see, coming up I was weened on movies on the Spice Channel. There were no cumshots. You'd see a shot of the guy's face when he climaxed; maybe another shot of the girl's face if you were lucky, then they'd fade into the next scene.

You only saw cumshots in the more hardcore skin mags, and those were the pages I skipped over. The pictures of girls with load spackled all over their faces seemed so alien to me and about as sexy as women who spread their pussy lips wide for you to see inside (I refuse to believe there's anyone into that).

I was already over 20 before the idea began to take hold. I was in the military at the time and I'd inherited a bottom rack. The previous inhabitant pasted the ceiling with numerous pictures of splattered girls. That was his thing. I left it up partly out of laziness, partly for kicks. And that's the first thing I saw every morning for the next two years. I don't know when I crossed the line from ironic appreciation to genuine appreciation (I was in my mid-20's before I noticed the change), but now I have to see the proof before I can get where I need to be. There are two things that are guaranteed to make me climax if I see them in a scene: an impressive face shot and kissing (I'm that one guy. I know. I'm weird. More on that some other time).

It used to be when I was younger, I liked watching creampie vids. They were closer to reality. I could draw from personal experience. I was more likely to cum in a girl than on her face. It seems these days the reverse is true. I regard creampies with feelings varying from suspicion, awe, disbelief, and disgust. Isn't that odd, the world we live in? Cumming on women is the norm and cumming inside is viewed as deviant. How about that? That sets us apart from the rest of human history. That and Scramble Porn.