LOL!

From the always hilarious XKCD.

An Open Letter To Jeanna Fine

Dear Ms. Fine,

Allow me to start off by saying that I have been a fan of yours for a great many years now, nearly half of my life. Your onscreen exploits made an indelible imprint on me during my formative years. I doubt I will ever forget the effortlessly waton sexuality that you exuded. For that I want to thank you for making my adolescence what it was.

The reason for the letter is to implore you, beg you, to return to porn once more. I know I can't be the only person who's been waiting for you to come back. I sincerely believe that your return will stoke the pornstalgic flames of many men my age as well as enflame the hearts and passions of a new generation of youth.

The time is ripe; it has been for a few years now. The new swell of Milf and Cougar porn has brought many of the legends of yesteryear back to the forefront of our nation's pornographic consciousness. Your background reveals that you are Milf Compliant. Even without kids, you would fit quite naturally as an uberCougar, a role you seemed destined to play since the the early 90's.

If retirement is too sweet a deal to leave behind, please consider a limited run at the top reality sites. Or perhaps a season as Naughty America's Milf/Cougar-In-Residence?

I can't convey how much your return, however brief, would mean to young men (and maybe some women too) around the country. You would be doing us all a great honor even thinking about it.

With what I assume to be love and what I know to be the most sincere admiration,

You everlong fan,

Oruba Stone

The Post-Modern Condition Becomes Easier to Define

Found a word on Urban Dictionary that could have only come into being in the last decade:

PORNXIETY	11 up, 1 down
	The brief but intense bout of anxiety and nausea one experiences when one finds someone remarkably similar looking to one's ex/ current girlfriend and believe it is her for the briefest of seconds while viewing pornography. It is followed by an odd, shameful sense of disappointment. "My ex looked so much like Alyssa Milano that when I first saw Embrace of the Vampire I had a Pornxiety attack."

I wonder how long before it makes it into a paper based, legit dictionary.

Pornxiety isn't a condition I personally suffer from but I am afflicted with a related ailment: Pornstalgia.