Friday, March 27, 2009

Discovering Pamela Peaks

A search for one Ugly Girl Porn leads to another. I was searching for background info on Rubee Tuesday not too long ago when I came across an interview she did with Pamela Peaks.

For those of you not familiar with Ms. Peaks, let me draw you a picture: fake boobs, fake tan, press-on nails, hair extensions, collagen-injected bass lips, cheek implants. And get this: her makeup is tattooed on! What we're left with is this grotesque Bride of FrankenPorn. Reminds me of Escape from LA when Snake finds himself in that enclave filled with people addicted to plastic surgery. I should've continued my search for Rubee Tuesday smut or better yet, stopped looking for porn altogether and done something constructive with my life. I should've found Pamela Peaks disgusting. And yet, at this point predictably, I was intrigued.

It took a bit of work, but I found a hardcore scene she did. Let me tell you, it was god awful. The guy had a small dick and a potbelly. He looks suspiciously like the nut job who fucks crackheads. The whole scene lasted all of five minutes and were interjected with odd clips of Pamela getting hit in the face with could have been a high-powered mayonnaise gun.

[EDIT: I got another look at Street Walkers #3 and I don't know what the hell I was thinking. The guy wasn't potbellied. He had a stocky middle aged body, nothing to be ashamed of, and his dick was as big as mine if not bigger. Strange what you remember. Mayonnaise gun bit is pretty accurate]

And I got off. I think the situation has grown dire. It's only a matter of time before I start beating off to pictures of Jocelyn Wildenstein. The line has been crossed long ago. The end of the road is near, Please, friends, say a prayer for me.

Only a matter of time

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