Monday, August 8, 2011

The Character Named Milf Actually Did Porn? No Way!

A pervasive point of wonder and discussion when Neckties for Reptiles began was the new increased probability that the woman you were pining for on television has done porn. Equally, awesome is how we live in an age where it doesn't take a whole lot of effort to find and download the flick. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. This is especially true for the stars of VH1 CelebReality programming.

Didn't take long to find stuff on Frenchy or Brandy C from Rock of Love and Charm School.

The next logical step, for me was to compile a list of Reality Stars I want to see in porn. But then I stopped watching shitty television, made constructive use of my life, and forgot all about the silly things I obsessed over in 2009.

And out of the blue, on accident, I discover that Milf from Real Chance of Love has appeared in a few "sex movies" performing under the names Ahmo Hight and Amy Hite. To be fair, they're only softcore, but you wouldn't know it from the the blog I read it in. You'd think she was doing The World's Heaviest Gangbang. To the writers at Dyfuse.com, please chill the hell out. Most of us grew out of softcore when we were 15. That's not even including the generation, currently in their early 20s, who grew up with the Internet. That number is probably closer to 9.

So no hardcore from Milf but we get boobs, and I assume she's get's it on, rubbing style, with Anna Nicole Smith. I'll probably never know because I'm about as much in a rush to watch that as I am the latest Flavor of Love spinoff.

As I look at Milf again for the first time in years I realize I still feel a kind of way about her. A cuter mix of Vicky Vette and Dana Hayes still applies. If you're reading this, Milf, please consider doing some legitimate pornography. You will have loving fans, at the very head of which will be me. You are absolutely ripe for Milf/Cougar porn. Why waste your life in reality show hell? There's no dignity in it. This is the life for you.

Love,
Oruba

No comments:

Post a Comment