Monday, January 5, 2009

And With the First Post I Introduce the Reader to Shawna Red and Ugly Girl Porn

A girl I dated once, hit the nail right on the head. She was going through my collection when she commented—maybe she was jealous, I don't know—that I seemed to like “Ugly Girl Porn.” I laughed but those was the truest words ever spoken by her.

Let my clarify: I don't only like Ugly Girl Porn. The same way I don't only like BBW. The same way I don't only like IR. The same way I don't only like a few things, but it registers in what I have . You notice it pretty quickly.

Another clarification: by Ugly I don't mean drop dead hideous. That's a special man who can get down like that. I'm not mad at him but I can't fill those shoes. I just mean Ugly as in being totally not the type of girl I would even be seen with. For example I have this thing for horse-faced women that goes back to an odd fixation for Sarah Jessica Parker in the early nineties. Don't ask; I don't get it either. Thankfully, Sex and the City cured me of all that.

With that I give you Shawna Red. I own a Spunkmouth vid she did a few years ago. And what a horrible scene that is. She, an obvious newbie, doesn't give the most spectacular performance. However, I lay the onus of the blame on the woodsmen. Her co-stars, both of them, couldn't possibly look more bored. They looked like they'd rather be playing Xbox, like they got their controllers taken away by the director right before shooting started. Have you ever seen two guys sulk their way through sex? It's sad. It's real sad.

And yet I still watch this shitty scene several times a year. I love Shawna Red. The long bony face. The too big lips. The hennaed out hair. Drives me nuts. Unfortunately for me, it doesn't seem like she stayed in the business very long. The evidence of which I could find is that god awful Spunkmouth scene and one for Real Arizona Amateurs that I can't get a hold of (for free). Anybody have any info?


  1. need this video even rejoined spunkmouth a year ago they did not have it on the site anymore know how i can get this

  2. Oh, man...I've been looking for this girl's Spunkmouth scene for YEARS. I don't care how bad it is, if she's in it, I just HAVE to check it out! May I please ask if you can email me a copy?

  3. real name is Tina Van Wagner