The Girl With the Spider Tattoo Redux

I'll admit it. I started this blog for selfish reasons. Fruitless searches I have come to call Holy Grails. Scenes I've seen in passing when porn was scarce but am now unable to turn up in this Age of Instant and Free. Girls who've disappeared or whose names I never knew.

One such Holy Grail was the hunt for the Girl with the Spider Tattoo. No, Stieg Larson wasn't hard up for cash in the 90s. She was so termed because - - well, refer to the picture above.

All I knew was that the girl was Brazilian. A kindly reader, Mr. Anonymous was nice enough to point me towards Buttman's Rio Carnival. Spider Girl's name is Andreia. This might have been her only movie. Searches turn up other Andreias but none with butt tattoos. This wasn't an easy find.

And here's the part where I say that after obsessing over this scene for years, I watch it once and went "meh." Her butt, though quite nice, is smaller than in my dreams. She's neither as pretty nor as slutty looking as I remember her. Maybe it's because between then and now I've watch several thousand hours of porn (I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed of this). Maybe it's because I've matured. Maybe it's because I've upgraded my class of girl and women who look like Andreia are no longer out of my reach (the first thought I had upon viewing the scene is that she's younger than I am now). Andreia is no longer a fantasy.

What does all this mean? Will I suspend my search for Holy Grails for fear of disturbing my equilibrium of desire and setting off an existential crisis? Fuck no! Growing up and growing old is about losing your illusions, modifying or sometimes outright changing your desires, and finding out new things about the world and yourself. The moment you stop that constant flux of transition, you grow stagnant.

So, thank you Anonymous! I go forth to find more Holy Grails (both porn-related and otherwise) without fearing how much smaller, less divine they'll be IRL. This must be done!