Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Debi Diamond Is Back!

Debi Diamond is following me on Twitter. In the back of my mind I think all the porn stars a'tweetin' are really bots or the president of their fan clubs or the intern from their publicist's office. But, just to make my life more magical than it is, I suspend my disbelief. There's something exhiliarating about peeping into the quotidian goings-ons of their lives. Something comforting in knowing that porn starlets can be just as boring as you.

Most of Ms. Diamond's tweets seem to be semi-coherent articulations of a barely controllable sexual urge. This makes me think bot simply because it's so very different from your more typical porn starlet tweets which run the gamut of: boarding flights, deboarding flights, doing laundry, cleaning out the basement, going to the salon, etc. Her other tweets sound like haiku-like exclamations into the maelstrom of the Twitterverse from a person with an intense lust for life. This makes me think person, and an interesting one at that.

I can assume that Debi is tweeting because of her return to the adult film industry. She started making movies again after an absence of over a decade. Once again, thank God for Milf/Cougar porn.

It's been years since I've thought of Debi Diamond. I'm going to date myself and say that I have memories of surreptiously checking out her pictures on Jordan Lee's now defunct website, praying that the librarian wouldn't come around before the Slow-As-Chinese-Torture dial up modem finished downloading.

Needless to say Ms. Diamond's return has triggered pornstalgia. And quicker than you could say "I love the future," I had a copy of her recent scene.

Let me say that Dirty Rotten Motherfuckers 3 is a veritable Who's Who of women I used to jerk off to when I was 15:

Tabitha Stevens - I had no idea what this woman looked like in unscrambled form

Shayla LaVeaux - I just got used to not thinking of her when I see Shyla Stylez's name.

And five minutes into her scene I remember why I used to be uncomfortable watching her fuck: All that slapping, spitting, forcing, and screaming. You have that sinking feeling that you're witnessing rape. But she's so into it you suspend your disbelief and tell yourself that it's pretend; she'll walk away unscathed when the cameras turn off, collect her paycheck, and go off to do some twitter-worthy things like look for new flatware at Crate and Barrel. And you suspend long enough to get through the stroke session. And for the most part you leave it behind you and get on with your day, but deep inside you feel an intense pity for her and you question what you did.

I remember -- many years ago, around the time when it was a considered good day to have downloaded 20 porn pics -- reading an article in Rolling Stone about the then burgeoning porn industry. The article featured Seymore Butts and Nina Hartley, but it was Debi Diamond who I remember most vividly. The reporter was there to witness one of her scenes, a particularly brutal one, where her necklace is ripped off of her neck, pearls scattering everywhere. When it was over Debi tells the reporter in what I alternatingly remember as an either nonchalent or sorrowful tone that she was given that necklace by her dead grandmother.

Ah, Pathos.

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