| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Jonah Falcon Needs a Job | ||||
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Samantha Bee : You were born with a thirteen and a half inch penis and your last name is Falcon. You were born to make porn!
It seems that young Jonah Falcon is unemployed, lives at home with his mom, and has no prospects. But he as a gift. Jonah Falcon has a 13 and a half inch penis. This is a gift, however, he refuses to capitalize on, much to the disbelief of Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee.
Two related questions come to mind. Please weigh in. I assume, aside from the delightful Alison Hart, the overwhelming majority of you readers are male.
1. Would you do porn if you could?
2. Would you be happy with a 14 inch penis?
Would you do porn if you could? I know it seems that the default guy answer is not just "Yes!" but "Hellz yes!" But I beg to differ. I think if shown the realities of men in porn, many guys wouldn't opt for the life. I personally wouldn't do porn. Unless your name is Rocco, Pete, or Lex, chances are you're not banking a whole lot, far less than your female counterparts. If you want to support yourself, you're going to have to do gay porn. At this point, guys who are really enthusiastic about getting paid to fuck chicks start to reconsider the profession.
There are plenty of other reasons -- the lack of job stability and benefits, the difficulty in getting nice non-porn chicks to date you, the myriad antibiotic resistant diseases you'll no doubt encounter. The big deal breaker for me is porn's present day ubiquity and permanence. You would think that now porn is mainstream and any one video is ephemera, far easier to drift from your consciousness than Debbie does Dallas, that doing a porn flick or two wouldn't attract any attention. Again, I beg to differ. Since everyone watches porn, and since it is so much easier to get access to the stuff now, not to mention that it being on the Internet means it will be around forever, that means that 10 years from now the parents of your students will lobby to get your ass fired for your youthful discretion.
If you want to do porn it seems you have to be fully committed to it, despite the above setbacks. All that is assuming that you are able to. You might not be even able to make it onto the set.
Would you be happy with a 14 inch penis? Lord no! Again, the default guy answer seems to be the affirmative. If you're thinking this is a good idea, allow me to talk you out of it. If you're packing 6-8 inches you're doing fine. There's no reason to think you need more. If your dick is less than 6 inches, you have options. Be smart. Be rich. Be funny. Be an all around interesting cat. Be about her. Learn to eat pussy. Open your relationship; let her do other guys as long as she comes back to you; this will reward you in the long run. All of these options are preferable over having a 14 inch penis.
One of the very first things I learned about John Holmes, the legendary cocksman, is that he rarely achieved a full erection. After it got to a certain point, his erection would pain him. I don't know if that applies to all dicks beyond a certain size, but that was enough for me to be happy with what I got.
And listen guys, I don't care what you heard, most girls don't like mondo gigantic cocks. Whip out a 14 inch dong and you're guaranteed to get the girl screaming and scrambling to get away. The only women you could do are, well, porn starlets. Even that I find doubtful. My theory is that if you cut off the cameras, and allowed the persona to dissolve, and ask them as people and not as the objects of people's fantasies, the vast majority of those women wouldn't go near a dick that big unless they were paid to.
Maybe I'm wrong. Women, that is if I have other female readers, weigh in. What do you think? am I wrong? Is 14 inch NOT too freakishly big? Also, would you date a male porn star? If so, would there be any conditions? Would a guy with a porn past affect the nature of your relationship?
Well, since you asked your women readers, here you go. I in no way want anyone to think that I'm speaking for all women, but for me personally, fourteen inches would scare the hell out of me. I'm all about width over length, as far as comfort and pleasure go. I wouldn't say no to dating a porn star (if I were in the dating market, that is) and I wouldn't put conditions on the relationship because I've always been more interested in where the guy's heart is, not where his cock is. As long as he knew the difference between the sex you see in porn and the sex that predominantly goes on at home (i.e. don't kiss me like you're trying to swallow my head, snuggling is nice, slapping anything but my ass is going to get you a return punch, and if you come on my face I will laugh myself silly and ask you if your aim really sucks that bad) it wouldn't be a big deal.
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