Saturday, June 6, 2009

Concerning Whitney Wonders' Asshole

I came across this picture yesterday while searching for images of Whitney Wonders. I'm left with no choice but to respond:

To the Photographer: I've never been a fan of that airbrushed look that graces so many magazines, porn or otherwise. I mean, why present an impossible ideal and make women nation-wide even more neurotic and insecure about their self-image than they already are? I say keep the freckles, blemishes, and lines. As far as porn pics go, I never fret over the sight of the occasion razor burn, but have some professional pride, man. If you insist on showing Whitney Wonder's asshole at least have the decency to shop out the hemorrhoid. I don't care how weird people's fetishes are, no one wants to see that. If I wanted a face full of piles I would've followed the lucrative career path to proctology. C'mon, dude.

To Ms. Wonder: I am aware that Naughty America or any of the other production companies you've worked for probably don't provide health insurance coverage (to which I would recommend joining a freelancer's union or perhaps looking into an arrangement like the strippers of San Francisco, but all that is a discussion for another day). Besides, hemorrhoid removal is probably considered cosmetic or elective surgery anyway. Still, the way I see it: if you can afford $6000 for unrealistically ginormous boobage, you can pony up the cash to get the hemorrhoids lasered off your otherwise lovely asshole. If nothing else, consider it an investment into your career. My guess is that the Hemorrhoid Lovers' niche is too small to pay the bills. I've entertained the notion that you were completely oblivious to your little friend's presence back there till just now. Please direct your anger at the photographer. Hopefully, the embarrassment at the situation will prompt you into action.

Kthanxbye,
Oruba

1 comment:

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