Since I crawled out of adolescence and matured into the man I am today, I've been remarkably ambivalent about porn. Remarkable because I can read Catherine Mackinnon and jerk off to bukkake in the same day. I'm particularly sensitive to the objectification of women. I treat my lovers and female friends as equals, as more than the objects of one's fantasies, as whole people. Yet a quick glance at my porn library will reveal hundreds of cummed on faces, gangbangs that look uncomfortably close to rape, women getting poked with an odd assortment of objects, women getting called horrific names while being spit on, women getting passed around, thrown like rag dolls, tossed aside like yesterday's trash. How am I OK with that?
Maybe I'm not. Or, maybe I am.
It's perhaps not immediately apparent, but this blog is an attempt to expose, if not work out, that ambivalence.
I like to think of myself as a person with a strong constitution and the ability to make his actions line up with his beliefs. I was the once Heavyweight champion of smoking, going at it with vigor and poise until I was convinced it would one day killed me. I've been cigarette-free for almost 5 years. I was once an inveterate, indiscriminate, and unapologetic carnivore. These days I only eat meat 6 months out of the year and locally produced at that.
2012 will soon be upon us. On the 1st of January, I will embark on a new project. I will be locking up my usual fare and doing something new. For the entire month of January I will be watching, stroking to, and critiquing my experiences with feminist porn, sex-positive porn, couples porn, artsy porn and any kind of sex flick a guy like me should be watching that doesn't conflict with my real world sensibilities.
Here's how you, dear reader, can help. If you know a site, movie, or starlet that falls into those categories, don't be afraid to suggest it.
The suggestions are already starting to pour in. The insanely delightful
Sophie Delancey has recommended
Camille Carlson of
Art of the Blowjob and
Lily Anne Bloom of Pornographic Love.
So yeah, that's where I'll be starting in about a month.