Porn Star Haiku: Kerry Louise

Kerry Louise

Butterflies pollinate

Lilies. Lust. A creative

Force of nature.

Porn Star Portraits #2

Annie Sprinkle As Eastern Goddess of Late-Stage Capitalism (My Educated Guess)

Have you had the opportunity to check out Porn Saints? No? Do yourself a favor. Scroll down a bit. On the right, you'll see the link under Faves and Raves.

I see some of you need more convincing.

"What the hell is Porn Saints, Oruba? And why should I drop what I'm doing to check it out?"

Well, here's their own mission statement:

Porn Saints is the art side of porn and the porn side of art. It is an artistic approach to porn, a pornographic approach to art, a pornoartistic approach to religion. Artworks are based upon the idea that porn stars may be "sanctified" by their performances.

Still not enough?

Well here are some pictures:

Kerry Louise

Dana DeArmond

Kimberly Kane

Chenin Blanc

April Flores AKA Fatty D

A compelling case, no? I can tell you're thoroughly convinced, friends. Go forth.

Porn Obsessiveness: Case Study #2

Who are you?

So it went like this:

I was watching a Kerry Louise scene the other day. It was a scripted Brazzers video and for some reason, maybe boredom, probably curiosity, I didn't skip through the story buildup.

The Plot: Kerry Louise is an intrepid, yet prudish office drone who criticizes her co-worker's revealing garb, albeit timidly and kind of passive-aggressively. The co-worker, whose name is Jeanine, basically tells her to fuck off.

The girls' supervisor makes an appearance where he reveals that he's looking for a volunteer to be the office party organizer.

Kerry Louise is quite excited to take on the position. Jeanine, who could care less about taking on extra office duties, only wants the gig to piss off Kerry Louise. She disappears with the supervisor to "talk" him. We can only assume what is going on behind those closed doors. We see nothing. Jeanine is just non-sex extra here.

Kerry Louise steps up to the plate. She knows what she must do to get that job. She loses her inhibitions and arranges to meet privately with the supervisor to "talk."

---

And this is where I pause. I have to find out who this Jeanine is.

Those who know how much I've been watching Kerry Louise lately (Hint: a fuck ton), know that this is no small statement. Anyone who can distract me from Kerry Louise, without ever taking her clothes off, is a big deal.

Jeanine: I'm that rare breed of man who prefers 40something year old Ginger Lynn to 20something year old Ginger Lynn. Imagine if you took Ginger the way she looks right now, and Age-Regressed back to what she would've looked like at 30 (as opposed to making your guess based on how she looked at 20). That's exactly what Jeanine looks like. I hope that was clear. Although this makes perfect sense in my head, I fear I come off sounding like Rick Perry.

1. I go to the Brazzers website. I search for "Jeanine." Nothing. "Janine." I get Janine Lindemulder. Clearly not her. I'm stumped.

2. I search through the Brazzers roster. Nobody stands out. Looks like it could be Kate Frost, but I have my doubts.

3. I hit the boards and ask around in the Who's That Girl? threads. I wait a few hours. Nothing.

4. I figure I can go straight to the source, but I can't find anything but the customer service email for Brazzers. I send a tweet to their tweeter page. Nothing.

5. I try to tweet the question to Kerry Louise, who I follow. In the few days since I had last checked, her page had disappeared.

6. I tweet Johnny Sins, who plays the supervisor. Nothing.

7 Finally, I google "Kerry Louise" and "Johnny Sins" and wade through page after page.

8. I find it after what seems like forever: Charity McLain.

She's new. Turns out one of her few available scenes is with Mommy Got Boobs, but she doesn't show up on the Brazzers roster. Strange.

So I got the scene, unleashed a torrent of phenethylamine and endorphins into my body, took a nap, got some work done, got drinks and face-time with a ladyfriend. And then, a day or two later, I returned to the Kerry Louise scene.

Porn Star Haiku: Kerry Louise

You're fit! If you're from

The Land of Angels, why do

I feel devilish?